This story is based on fragments of writings collected by the British Jamaican Monica Armstrong.It was captured amid the depths of England's economic recession why she and her family moved to the Netherlands. The years were very testing, especially in a married couple's life. She struggled to keep her balance. As a wife and working mother of a couple of young children who took care of her family, life proved indescribably challenging. Although she was often sad and hurt on the inside, her camouflaging smile always found a way to make her problems fade into thin air.With no one to share her story, pain and anguish in those early years, she wrote a diary fictitiously addressed to the Queen of the Netherlands. Also, to balance life as she lived in a country, she could hardly call home. Her adventures explore the memories, depths and her inner world. It covers the period of Queen Beatrix's 33-year reign when she started to feel at home, but did she really belong?