This book gives a unique insight into my life with a manic-depressive disorder. The first signs were visible in 2015, but the first diagnosis came at the end of 2017. However, that was only the beginning, the development of the disorder went from bad to worse. The wrong path, threatening, flammable, energy for three, generous, jovial, charismatic, charming, cheating, near-death experiences, all-nighters, luxurious lifestyle, long-distance travels, arguments, drink and drugs. Alternated by dying life, emptiness, lack of initiative, shame, sadness, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, stinginess, shyness and social isolation. This is an autobiography about my search for a stable mood. About two per cent of all people struggle with manic-depressive disorder.Take a look at my bipolar kitchen from 2015 to February 2021.