Introduction1PART I: THE CLAN8The dunes9The first to leave12Uninvited guests17Christmas under siege20PART II: DEVILISH DILEMMAS26Defiance27Things deteriorate35Decisions42Refusing to salute47Lying low in the lowlands64PART III: ESCAPE76Into the unknown77Oisterwijk: the southern marshes90Dames, chaplains, and smugglers101PART IV : MAQUIS114Bienvenue en Belgique115Au revoir122Into the woods132Partisans de Houffalize, Maquis d’Engreux139In the Resistance151Losing a leader near Bonnerue166Band of boys at Wigny179PART V: PRISON193An unfortunate turn of events194Saint-Léonard and the Citadelle207A trail of decisions211PART VI: HUNGER225A sign from Jan226Famine235Farms246Liberation253Empty spaces259PART VII: LIMBO265Into night and fog266Where is Jan?276Transfer to the Reich290A baroque workshop302Singing in a monastery319PART VIII: HELL335Into the unimaginable336The ruins of Flossenbürg348PART IX: GONE358Being a number at Saal an der Donau359Wanting to know388Evacuation395PART X: THE END-BUT ALSO A BEGINNING404A place to rest406APPENDIX417Witnesses who had contact with Jan or Mien418Other witnesses425Glossary429Sources435Public archives and libraries449Belgium449Germany450The Netherlands452Private archives453Jan van Boeckel was in his twenties when the Nazis caught up with him. Faced with stark dilemmas he made choices. Weaving together memories and historical facts the author reconstructs his story.Jan van Boeckel grew up in Haarlem in the 1930’s, the years of the Great Depression, high unemployment and the surge of populist, nationalist movements in Europe. Jan witnessed the fabric of his country disintegrate, torn apart by the Nazis. Then, deeply troubled, he saw it slipping into outright war. Jan was in his early twenties when the Nazi web caught up with him. Faced with stark dilemmas he had to make choices. They were choices that have left scars and continue to echo through the years.Wendy, Jan´s niece, started out on the Quest for Jan van Boeckel in 2015. It was a journey that would take her over two years, following Jan’s trail wherever it led. Weaving together family memories and historical facts she reconstructed the story of a youth in wartime Europe. It is a story that is both captivating and heartbreaking.We follow Jan up close, as he makes his way from Haarlem to Belgium, and onwards into the obscureness of the Nazi regime in Bavaria. As the story unfolds, we are repeatedly drawn back to Haarlem, where a tight-knit Dutch family waits, hopes and searches for their lost son and brother.With this book, the author creates a lasting memory of a son, a brother, an uncle and an ordinary Haarlem boy, who was lost to the Second World War. She hopes this memoir will help to soften the scars of war. Jan van Boeckel, born on the 11th of February, 1923, grew up in the Dutch city of Haarlem just before the onset of the Second World War. By 1944, now a young man and deeply troubled as he watched his country slipping into outright war, Jan left home hoping to join the fight against the enemy. In 2015, seventy years later, his niece Wendy van Eijnatten embarked on a mission to follow her uncle’s footsteps. They lead her through the Netherlands, into Belgium and onwards into the shadows of the Nazi regime in Bavaria, Germany.The author researched Jan’s story in detail, interviewing family members, acquaintances of Jan and their descendants as well as people who lived through similar experiences and other sources of knowledge. She explored family archives and examined material from Dutch, Belgian and German war institutions. Moreover, she visited all the places where Jan’s footsteps led.Wendy wove together memories and historical facts enabling her to reconstruct the life, motives and thoughts of an ordinary young man caught up in extraordinary times. As the story unfolds, the reader is repeatedly drawn back to Haarlem, where a close-knit family waits, hopes and searches for their lost son and brother. This book, written in English, makes a piece of Dutch war history accessible to those beyond its borders.